Separation of Church & State vs. Gay Marriage

I'm not gay, and I am a Christian. I know what my church teaches about homosexuality, but I've known too many gay people and have too many gay friends to be able to say I believe what the church teaches. And this issue has alienated me to the point I no longer feel affiliated with any church.

I don't see this issue so much as a civil rights issue (although I'm sure it is); I see it as an endrun around the separation of church and state, and that scares me. I don't want anyone's religious belief forced upon me, not even my own church's. I can't imagine what it must be like to have a religious belief of someone else's church legislated upon me. And as I understand it, there are churches and religions, as well as businesses and corporations, that support gay families. Excuse me, but isn't that the purpose of separation of church and state -- to protect each of those religious beliefs while promoting a community that allows both to exist in peace and harmony?

Why can't we have a government that refrains from legislating religious beliefs? Why not give marriage both a civil standing and a religious standing? Let the state marry whatever 2 people that wish it (because taxes and economical reasons support limiting the number) while allowing churches to marry whomever and as many as they wish?

We shouldn't be banning ANY marriages by the state unless- and ONLY unless - the marriages make the tax and economical considerations impossible or the marriage promotes a threat to the community in some way (and offending someone's religious beliefs does not constitute a threat to the community). Nor should the state force any religious institution to marry anyone (exception: a religious leader in a community without anyone else available to perform such a ceremony could be required to marry someone- acting as a justice of the peace, outside of his church). The state should be working toward a solution that respects everyone. Isn't that it's primary function?

Freedom of religion in no way means freedom from religion. But it does mean that we must practice tolerance, and keep separation of church and state inviolate.

We're a big country, with lots of different kinds of people and different points of view. It's one of the things that makes America grand, to my way of thinking. It would be a sorry place, I think, if we were all the same. But we have to respect each other, and get along even when we disagree. If we can build upon the things we have in common, rather than trying to make everyone the same and believing the same things - if we can do that, overcoming our differences will be much easier, don't you think?

The right to choose who we are, what we believe, what principles we value, what religion we practice (life, liberty & pursuit of happiness)-- is one of God's most precious gifts (you've heard of free will, right?) to us (another familiar phrase: endowed to us by our Creator). And no one has to the right to take it from us, not even "for our own good" - providing our exercise of free will does not harm anyone else.